Recovery article

How to Ask Someone to Be Your Sponsor in AA

Asking someone to be your AA sponsor feels intimidating — but most people overthink it. Here is exactly what to say, when to say it, and what to expect after they agree.

Article summary

Asking someone to be your AA sponsor feels intimidating — but most people overthink it. Here is exactly what to say, when to say it, and what to expect after they agree.

Key topics include When Is the Right Time to Ask?, The Exact Words to Use When Asking, What to Ask Before Committing.

What this article covers

  • When Is the Right Time to Ask?
  • The Exact Words to Use When Asking
  • What to Ask Before Committing
  • Asking for a Temporary Sponsor

Frequently asked questions

What do you say when asking someone to be your AA sponsor?

Keep it simple and direct. After a meeting, approach the person and say: "I'm [name]. I'm new and looking for a sponsor. I've appreciated your shares and wondered if you're available." You do not need a longer script than that. Most members who sponsor are used to being asked and will respond openly.

Is it normal to be nervous asking for a sponsor?

Completely normal. Almost everyone in AA remembers being nervous to ask. The discomfort comes from vulnerability — you are admitting you need help and opening yourself to possible rejection. It helps to remember that asking for a sponsor is one of the most respected things a newcomer can do in the fellowship.

What is a temporary sponsor in AA?

A temporary sponsor is a more experienced member who agrees to work with you for a defined period — often the first 30 to 90 days, or until you find a permanent sponsor. Temporary sponsorship is a well-established practice in AA and NA that removes the pressure of making a permanent commitment while still getting guidance. Many permanent sponsorship relationships begin as temporary ones.