Recovery article

Step 9 of AA: Making Amends — How to Do It Without Making Things Worse

Step 9 is where you actually make amends — with one important condition: only when doing so won't cause more harm. Here's how to do it right.

Article summary

Step 9 is where you actually make amends — with one important condition: only when doing so won't cause more harm. Here's how to do it right.

Key topics include Step 9: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.", Amends vs. Apology, The Exception: When Amends Would Cause More Harm.

What this article covers

  • Step 9: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
  • Amends vs. Apology
  • The Exception: When Amends Would Cause More Harm
  • Types of Amends

Frequently asked questions

What is Step 9 of Alcoholics Anonymous?

Step 9 of AA is: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." It is where you act on your Step 8 list — going to people in person, acknowledging what you did, and demonstrating change through your behavior.

What is the difference between an amends and an apology?

An apology says "I'm sorry." An amends says "I was wrong, here is what I did, and here is what I am doing differently." An amends may also include repaying money, correcting a lie, or repairing something damaged — not just words. The word "amend" means to fix, not simply to feel bad.

When should you not make a direct amends in Step 9?

Do not make a direct amends when doing so would injure the person or others. The classic example is a romantic affair — confessing to your spouse may relieve your guilt while devastating theirs. In cases like this, discuss with your sponsor before acting. A living amends — becoming the person you should have been — is appropriate when direct contact would cause harm.