Recovery article

Step 8 of AA: Who Have You Harmed?

Step 8 asks you to write down every person you've harmed and become willing to make amends to all of them. The willingness matters as much as the list.

From the article

Step 8 of AA asks you to make a list of all the people you have harmed and become willing to make amends to all of them. The list itself is straightforward; the willingness is where the real work lies.

Step 8: "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."

Step 8 has two parts, both equally important: making the list, and becoming willing. You can have the most complete list in history and still be unprepared for Step 8 if the willingness isn't there. Conversely, willingness without the list is just intention without action.

Building the List

Start with your Step 4 harms inventory. It's already done. The people who appear there are the foundation of your Step 8 list. But think wider: people harmed before your most active using period, harms done without realizing it at the time, institutions or employers you wronged, family members affected by your absence or behavior.

Don't filter the list based on whether you think amends is possible or deserved. That's Step 9's job. Step 8 is just the list.

Categories of People You May Have Harmed

  • Family members (parents, siblings, spouses, children)
  • Friends you neglected, betrayed, or used
  • Romantic partners harmed by your behavior
  • Employers or colleagues
  • People you owed money
  • People you were dishonest with

The Hardest Name on the List

For many people, the hardest name to add is their own. Self-harm, the neglect of your own health, the betrayal of your own values, the years lost, is real harm and deserves acknowledgment. Many sponsors recommend including yourself on the list.

Willingness Is Not Agreement

Becoming willing to make amends doesn't mean you agree that everything was your fault. It means you're willing to take responsibility for your part, even in situations where others also caused harm. You can only clean up your side of the street.

Working Step 8 in SoberCrew

The SoberCrew amends tracker is built for Step 8 and 9. Add each person to your list with notes about what happened and what kind of amends you're considering. The tracker lets you move through the list at your own pace and mark each one as you complete it.

Frequently asked questions

What is Step 8 of Alcoholics Anonymous?

Step 8 of AA is: "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." It builds on the harms inventory from Step 4. The step has two equal parts: making the comprehensive list and developing genuine willingness to approach each person on it.

Who goes on a Step 8 list?

Your Step 8 list includes family members, friends, romantic partners, employers, colleagues, people you owed money, people you were dishonest with, and yourself. Start with your Step 4 harms inventory and expand from there. Do not filter based on whether amends seems possible or deserved — that is Step 9's job.

Do you put yourself on your Step 8 list?

Many sponsors recommend including yourself on your Step 8 list. Self-harm — the neglect of your own health, the betrayal of your own values, the years lost to addiction — is real harm and deserves honest acknowledgment.